i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize