weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
