TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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