my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize