I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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