she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
