break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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