And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
