He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
