Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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