First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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