So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
