No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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