..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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