I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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