so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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