She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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