Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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