Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
