Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
