grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
