"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
