Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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