what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
