Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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