you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
