i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
