Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
