I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
