I skipped work to stalk him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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