i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Bring me that man meat
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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