The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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