you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
