i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
