Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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