I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drunk is not a location!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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