well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
