Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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