There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
