That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
