if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
