Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
