if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
