So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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