Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
