I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize