Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
