I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm really busy with my period
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