I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
