K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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