I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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