you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
