So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
