dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
