we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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