WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there was a trapeze. enough said
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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