It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
