so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
