How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
