Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
