WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
