I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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