He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
