I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
