5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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