Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
