are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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