i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
