I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
