matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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