Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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