i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I will pee on everything he values.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
