Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
