It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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