i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
