This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
