Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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