I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize