I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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