final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
